I think I just saw someone hide a body.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
