I'm drive I can fine osifer
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize