What did we do last night that was yellow?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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