ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
