dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
