You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize