i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
