he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
