Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
