Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
