i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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