I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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