GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
