i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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