sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
