Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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