Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I touched a dick in church today
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
