Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
