I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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