my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
