you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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