had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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