If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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