Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize