You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
