he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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