that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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