worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
