Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You're a waste of cheezeits
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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