brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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