white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize