So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
