I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
