i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
