I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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