bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
