So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
