she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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