I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Randomize
