I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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