After last night, I could never be a politician.
Jerry, you need to find god
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
