My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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