I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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