I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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