Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The adults are the big ones right?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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