when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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