Someone shit on the floor
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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