I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
