that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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