we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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