She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
