Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize