I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
