Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
