maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
