This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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