ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
