A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
