the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your cock deserves a montage
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
