hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
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I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
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My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Shame - the story of my life.
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