wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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