Umm I'm too high to move.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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