She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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